JACOB STELLMACH ( a.k.a. ASS NAPKINS)

[Chimplord1997]

The only way rape would make his asshole so loose he needs homemade ass tampons would be if either he was raped that same day or if he was raped with a fire hydrant.

Your sphincter is a muscle that doesn't just stop working because something passed through your ass. Otherwise everyone would need ass tampons forever after the first time they took a big shit.

He needs ass tampons because he has a terrible diet filled with ingredients that cause anal leakage and he doesn't know how to properly wipe his ass. I bet he defaulted to "it's from rape" because civilized people would respond with "oh, I better not ask anymore about this or get mad at him about this gross habit".

what ingredients cause anal leakage

 

[ilovejesus69]

The list of things he doesn't understand now includes:

-how buttholes work
-how LLCs work and what protections they do and do not provide

 

[.wil]

I had lunch with the current sitting chairman of the GNAA at a steak n shake and he emphatically told me that weev is a fucking retard

Steak n Shake (TM) is the best white trash family restaurant in North America

I bet he defaulted to "it's from rape" because civilized people would respond with "oh, I better not ask anymore about this or get mad at him about this gross habit".

There's no such thing as a rape victim anyway

 

[ilovejesus69]

what ingredients cause anal leakage

Off the top of my head, Olestra does. It's been banned in a bunch of places because of it. Some artificial sweeteners do too. Additionally, if you have digestive problems, greasy foods will too.

 

[dropdatwat]

The only way rape would make his asshole so loose he needs homemade ass tampons would be if either he was raped that same day or if he was raped with a fire hydrant.

Your sphincter is a muscle that doesn't just stop working because something passed through your ass. Otherwise everyone would need ass tampons forever after the first time they took a big shit.

He needs ass tampons because he has a terrible diet filled with ingredients that cause anal leakage and he doesn't know how to properly wipe his ass. I bet he defaulted to "it's from rape" because civilized people would respond with "oh, I better not ask anymore about this or get mad at him about this gross habit".

the fact KF by and large actually bought that lie speaks volumes about how retarded they are

 

[ilovejesus69]

the fact KF by and large actually bought that lie speaks volumes about how retarded they are

Well, in their defense, it's a "funnier" thing for them to pick on him for ("lol you got raped"). However, the rape part is just a smokescreen. It shows he'd rather be made fun of about being raped than being an adult who can't figure out why his ass is such a mess all the time.

 

[lurk]

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imagine being so pathetic you gotta ride weev's dick.

 

[A Fucking Box]

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who's this guy and why are we talking about him

 

[A Fucking Box]

nvm

 

[Crassmeister]

who's this guy and why are we talking about him

some kind of stupid troll sock
weev would kick his ass
thus the anon account

 

[A Fucking Box]

some kind of stupid troll sock
weev would kick his ass
thus the anon account

He's Dr. Rice from edf2
Someone should tell him to log on here

 

[Scumhook]

RIP Dr Rice
vale, arcane master of the dark arts, conduit from this world to others, keeper of the child sex magiks

 

[A Fucking Box]

RIP Dr Rice
vale, arcane master of the dark arts, conduit from this world to others, keeper of the child sex magiks

Did he use black magick on you? I'm positively enchanted and entranced by the gaping hole in your anus

 

[Scumhook]

Did he use black magick on you? I'm positively enchanted and entranced by the gaping hole in your anus

Yes he did

He summoned an elder god which looked suspiciously like a turd comprised of the burrito i'd had for lunch

He then screamed something about an eldridtch event horizon, mashed the turd into my face and ran off cackling

 

[A Fucking Box]

Yes he did

He summoned an elder god which looked suspiciously like a turd comprised of the burrito i'd had for lunch

He then screamed something about an eldridtch event horizon, mashed the turd into my face and ran off cackling

Ah yes. An ancient wizard technique

 

[SK2.0]

People who unironically spell magic with ck are certifiable tryhard faggots.

Does his scam pay his bills at least or is he on the dole?

 

[Solution]

RIP Dr Rice
vale, arcane master of the dark arts, conduit from this world to others, keeper of the child sex magiks and Rogaine 4 Wizards™ not only a client but also the president

Ftfy

 

[GroyperSupreme]

..

what ingredients cause anal leakage

Lots of fats and oils. Also lots of oil can give you heartburn.

But a famous one was Olean or Olestra. It was a fat substitute. Dunno if they still use it.

 

[GroyperSupreme]

High acid foods/drinks also.

Too much coffee? Get the squirts.
Lots of vinegar fries? get the squirts.
Lots of mustard which is made with lots of vinegar, well you get the idea.

 

[Crassmeister]

i think weev would kick all yr asses out of pure disgust

it explains why he never came back here

 

[lurk]

i think weev would kick all yr asses out of pure disgust

it explains why he never came back here

imagine being so pathetic you gotta ride weev's dick.

 

[.wil]

 

[hipcrime]

The only way rape would make his asshole so loose he needs homemade ass tampons would be if either he was raped that same day or if he was raped with a fire hydrant.

Your sphincter is a muscle that doesn't just stop working because something passed through your ass. Otherwise everyone would need ass tampons forever after the first time they took a big shit.

He needs ass tampons because he has a terrible diet filled with ingredients that cause anal leakage and he doesn't know how to properly wipe his ass. I bet he defaulted to "it's from rape" because civilized people would respond with "oh, I better not ask anymore about this or get mad at him about this gross habit".

Thank goodness someone besides me knows of the amazing elasticity of the anus. My own theory is that he has a fissure or hemorrhoids or venereal warts, which can cause wiping to take more time, but if ya just keep at it, you can clean it up real nice for the next guy. I bet he simply CBA to wipe properly. There is a product for this, it's from the 70s but still made, it's called Tucks Medicated Pads. pls pass this info along to Stellmacht kthx. :^)

 

[A Fucking Box]

Thank goodness someone besides me knows of the amazing elasticity of the anus. My own theory is that he has a fissure or hemorrhoids or venereal warts, which can cause wiping to take more time, but if ya just keep at it, you can clean it up real nice for the next guy. I bet he simply CBA to wipe properly. There is a product for this, it's from the 70s but still made, it's called Tucks Medicated Pads. pls pass this info along to Stellmacht kthx. :^)

Gay anal expert has logged on

 

[hipcrime]

Gay anal expert has logged on

please, "repented gay anal expert", if you don't mind. :^)

 

[A Fucking Box]

please, "repented gay anal expert", if you don't mind. :^)

Praise Christ

 

[hipcrime]

Praise Christ

AMEN!

 

[Sleepy]

what ingredients cause anal leakage

when i go on vodka benders sometimes i need napkins of my own

 

[Sleepy]

except i have the pride to just shart my pants. thats what real men do. they don't hide behind homemade shit tampons.

 

[edge_beta]

Did he use black magick on you? I'm positively enchanted and entranced by the gaping hole in your anus

who isnt enthralled? btw when can you to get a matching set so we can all have a go?