JACOB STELLMACH ( a.k.a. ASS NAPKINS)

[Maniac200688thewhitenigr]

That car can suck my ego off faster than you can suck my dick off. I'm not sayin it's a competition, I'm just sayin... know your place. You're no trophy waifu... hell, you're not even a trophy whore! You're a roastie wine aunt without an OnlyFans account, desperate for some sexual attention. I mean, I'm not sayin I wouldn't be inclined to ride you upside down while makin motorcycle noises across your Klarawagner as you give my little captain a proper mouth salute... just that I don't want to hear you yap as I'm flyin down the road at break neck speed as I desperately try and remember what the sensation of fear feels like. Also, you're a whore, so don't take it personally if I treat you like a bitch in heat and insist on getting you tested for STDs.

I didnt know mitzi had an onlyfans account hook up the link bro.

 

[mitzi]

That car can suck my ego off faster than you can suck my dick off. I'm not sayin it's a competition, I'm just sayin... know your place. You're no trophy waifu... hell, you're not even a trophy whore! You're a roastie wine aunt without an OnlyFans account, desperate for some sexual attention. I mean, I'm not sayin I wouldn't be inclined to ride you upside down while makin motorcycle noises across your Klarawagner as you give my little captain a proper mouth salute... just that I don't want to hear you yap as I'm flyin down the road at break neck speed as I desperately try and remember what the sensation of fear feels like. Also, you're a whore, so don't take it personally if I treat you like a bitch in heat and insist on getting you tested for STDs.

the car sucks

 

[Likeicare]

wow this car fucking sucks

Its an acquired taste

 

[Cosmic Sewer Hobo]

That car can suck my ego off faster than you can suck my dick off. I'm not sayin it's a competition, I'm just sayin... know your place. You're no trophy waifu... hell, you're not even a trophy whore! You're a roastie wine aunt without an OnlyFans account, desperate for some sexual attention. I mean, I'm not sayin I wouldn't be inclined to ride you upside down while makin motorcycle noises across your Klarawagner as you give my little captain a proper mouth salute... just that I don't want to hear you yap as I'm flyin down the road at break neck speed as I desperately try and remember what the sensation of fear feels like. Also, you're a whore, so don't take it personally if I treat you like a bitch in heat and insist on getting you tested for STDs.

damn, nigga... You reek of absolute fetid virginity that I might offer you to suck my dick out of pity then teach you how to properly tie a noose

 

[TabbyGarf]

That car can suck my ego off faster than you can suck my dick off. I'm not sayin it's a competition, I'm just sayin... know your place. You're no trophy waifu... hell, you're not even a trophy whore! You're a roastie wine aunt without an OnlyFans account, desperate for some sexual attention. I mean, I'm not sayin I wouldn't be inclined to ride you upside down while makin motorcycle noises across your Klarawagner as you give my little captain a proper mouth salute... just that I don't want to hear you yap as I'm flyin down the road at break neck speed as I desperately try and remember what the sensation of fear feels like. Also, you're a whore, so don't take it personally if I treat you like a bitch in heat and insist on getting you tested for STDs.

 

[BiteySnek]

the car sucks

This is what you'll be riding...

 

[GloriousReader]

whats a Klarawagner

 

[Likeicare]

whats a Klarawagner

Newfag

 

[Likeicare]

Klarawagner is a type of

 

[BiteySnek]

damn, nigga... You reek of absolute fetid virginity that I might offer you to suck my dick out of pity then teach you how to properly tie a noose

Nah dude, chicks like it when you talk to them like that. I know it seems like I'm being real mean, but like, it's just a dominance thing, ya know? Like women want a man to assert dominance over them, it establishes boundaries and makes them feel more at ease around you, knowing that you're the strongest.

A chick doesn't feel safe around a guy that might be weaker than she is. Women like power, it's like fuckin cocaine for them. Show a woman a little bit of power and she'll be rubbing her cock holster all over your every word.

 

[Cosmic Sewer Hobo]

Nah dude, chicks like it when you talk to them like that. I know it seems like I'm being real mean, but like, it's just a dominance thing, ya know? Like women want a man to assert dominance over them, it establishes boundaries and makes them feel more at ease around you, knowing that you're the strongest.

A chick doesn't feel safe around a guy that might be weaker than she is. Women like power, it's like fuckin cocaine for them. Show a woman a little bit of power and she'll be rubbing her cock holster all over your every word.

looks like it's worked well for you thus far lmao

 

[mitzi]

Nah dude, chicks like it when you talk to them like that. I know it seems like I'm being real mean, but like, it's just a dominance thing, ya know? Like women want a man to assert dominance over them, it establishes boundaries and makes them feel more at ease around you, knowing that you're the strongest.

A chick doesn't feel safe around a guy that might be weaker than she is. Women like power, it's like fuckin cocaine for them. Show a woman a little bit of power and she'll be rubbing her cock holster all over your every word.

the car sucks but not as much as you.

 

[BiteySnek]

looks like it's worked well for you thus far lmao

I have hookups in almost every state in the union, soooo... yeah.

 

[BiteySnek]

the car sucks but not as much as you.

Well as big as your pussy is... you better hope so! I might need to bring a shop vac into the bedroom to help! Which "attachments" do you prefer? The pet hair brush attachment, that's your "special helper" I bet!

You're the kind of chick I'd have to buy a pair of vibrator panties for... you know, so every time you mouth off I can put you right in your place... sexual subservience.

 

[Sleepy]

odd strategy for getting pussy

 

[SK2.0]

jfc

 

[BiteySnek]

Hey, I just noticed something... why does Stellmach look so much like Nick Bate...

They even share the same, uh... "problems"...

Not sure if they're both into, well, you know, the other thing...

 

[SaintSneed]

is it a cat up the butt or...? what's the score here?

 

[BiteySnek]

is it a cat up the butt or...? what's the score here?

I think he raped his underage cousin or sister or something like that. Or maybe it was step sister. One of those.

 

[mitzi]

i dont really see the resemblance

 

[BiteySnek]

If Nick cut his hair short, lost 25 pounds and cleaned up ~slightly~ he'd look identical to Jacob Stellmach.

 

[Illuminati 2.0]

Hey, I just noticed something... why does Stellmach look so much like Nick Bate...

View attachment 15699

They even share the same, uh... "problems"...

View attachment 15700

View attachment 15701

Not sure if they're both into, well, you know, the other thing...

View attachment 15702

What. the. fuck.

 

[FBIAgent]

What. the. fuck.

That's honestly what I thought when the meme started to begin with

 

[umkemesik]

If Nick cut his hair short, lost 25 pounds and cleaned up ~slightly~ he'd look identical to Jacob Stellmach.

No, but you look like my ballsack.

 

[BiteySnek]

No, but you look like my ballsack.

Nonexistent is a good look, but it's not one I can afford... much like yourself in terms of personality.

 

[BiteySnek]

Oh, by the way, fuck your species... a lot... this is how much I hate you right now...

Matthew Moulton on Gab: 'Oh fuck... sorry... I'm really high... uh... this…'

Matthew Moulton on Gab: 'Oh fuck... sorry... I'm really high... uh... this concept I came up with the other day... I didn't fully understand how horrific it was! The micro razor wisps... they're so small and so tiny that they don't actually draw blood... rather when they flutter into you, they...

gab.com

 

[Scumhook]

No, but you look like my ballsack.

I'd get to a doc ASAP & have that looked at

 

[Crassmeister]

 

[.wil]

blue-tinted balls is surely a sign of disease

 

[BiteySnek]

Why do you presume that you exist?

No, I don't mean that in an esoteric, psycho-babble bullshit sort of way.

I mean... the functional part of your brain that makes you assume that.

Don't you understand?

You see... if you don't believe in God, if you believe that you were the product of nature... then, by default, whatever part of your mind thinks that it's "real"... that's just a fabrication of nature. A delusional construct... that's you, that's your sense of self. A living delusion.

So, if you don't believe in God, you don't believe you functionally exist.

You are forced, by default, if you're an atheist, to accept the fact that your existence is entirely a lie, just a composition of organs and brain structures designed to make you artificially feel that way.

You see, on the one side, you can figure that your sentience is bound to your physical body. If that's true... then "you" really don't exist. Because "you" are simply the product of nature doing nature things to simulate perception as a means of driving you biologically like the trained little puppet you are.

Or on the flip side you believe your sentience is metaphysical and is not governed by the simplistic impulses of natural systems.

Fabricated sentience... or real sentience... nature provides one... Jesus provides the other.

Wait... did I get those mixed up?

Well, what tha'hell, just mix and match, I'm sure it'll turn out okay!

-God says, "Fuck you all, stop doing horrible shit right now."

...or was that me? Well, one of us DEF said that... or was it both?